Posted in author, Father's Day, memoir, Our Story, reading

My Dad

Since my book, ”The Promise” was published in January many who have read it might wonder how I could love my dad as much I still do. Those who knew him may not even want to know the mistakes he made by reading my book. But then you are missing the point that he is no different than anyone of us. He overcame the demons of his life. He apologized for the hurtful things he’d done knowing that it would never take away the shame that he’d take with him to the grave.
Jesus once said, ”he who is without sin can throw the first rock.” I’d be the first to drop my rock on the ground. Can any of us say there is not something in life we wish we could take back?
It was my dad who encouraged me to write my story from the moment I first came to live with him at 16 years old. He believed in what life had to teach us and that if we could help others by sharing our own mistakes than we give each other the opportunity to grow and learn through their own.
I miss my dad everyday. I miss his hugs, his sparkling smile, our conversations. But his words of wisdom lives on in me. I am the lucky one to have had the relationship we shared and I thank God that I was blessed to have a Dad as special as he was to me.
Happy Fathers Day, to my Dad!❤️

Posted in author, Mother’s Day, story questions

Honoring My Mother

Virginia Basiden/Miller

A reader of my story The Promise asked me what kind of work I did that gave me the ability to forgive my parents. It was a lifetime process that began when I got down on my knees and asked for the grace of forgiveness. I thought that my faith was strong enough that God would take all the pain of my past away. Little did I know at the time that when we pray for something, God isn’t going to fix it for us. He gives us lots of opportunities to practice and learn from it.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I must share with you that it was through the bond of motherhood that my relationship with Mom began to heal. She became a significant part of my life during that time when I had our four children. She loved being with them as much as they loved having her around, and I appreciated her help, too.

Today I choose to remember all the good things about my Mom. One of my fondest memories I have was sitting beside Mom as a child watching her zip together an outfit on the sewing machine. She would ask me to thread the needle for her when it needed it, and she taught me how to sew, too. She also taught me how to bake bread, crochet, as well as many other crafts. I remember how she held my hand as we walked to school for my first day of kindergarten. How her face lite up the moment I walked into the hospital after her knee surgery.  The serving of apple crisp she brought into the hospital after each baby was born. The way she laid her head on my shoulder as she sat beside me knowing this was the last time she’d receive communion before passing away.

As mothers, we each do the best we can with what we know how to do. We all have grandiose ideas of the kind of mother we want to be, and then God gives us lots of opportunities to practice how to be that way. We learn from mistakes, but only after we forgive ourselves for making them. I am grateful for the blessings that motherhood has given me. For my mother, my children, my husband, and all we learned together along the way.

Posted in Abandonment, Children of Alcholics, Children of mentally ill parents, God, Racism, Sex, Teens, Uncategorized

Welcome!

So, what’s this website all about?

As I was creating my new author website, I needed to come up with the topics, taglines and categories that come up in my book, The Promise. I was awestruck myself by how many topics it covers and could understand what a friend meant when she said she could relate to some of the things I brought up in my story. I realize now looking at the list that there is probably something for everyone to get out of reading my book. That makes me happy because I wanted to tell my story so that others could find a sense of commonality and hope through each other. We are not alone in this world, and sometimes we need a place where we can share. I’m excited now to be able to provide such a place with this website where you can communicate, vent, cry and encourage each other.

There is:

  • abandonment
  • mental illness
  • alcoholism
  • family dysfunction
  • parenting
  • teenagers
  • runaways
  • racism
  • sex
  • pregnancy
  • fear
  • faith
  • belief
  • church
  • spiritual
  • God
  • love
  • trust
  • choice
  • reality
  • healing
  • PTSD