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The Promise a memoir by Connie Rife
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There are many characteristic of a fairy tale. Mine would be the one marked by seemingly unreal beauty, perfection, luck, love, and a happily ever after ending. But in real life embracing the fairy tale is like receiving a beautiful gift without any instructions on how to build it or care for it.
I had to unlearn my old ways, one thing at a time as they came into play. Like worry. Every one worries about things when the occasion merits it. That’s normal. But for me worry was the main focus of my everyday life. All of a sudden I’m living my beautiful dream and my only worry was what I would make for dinner. That wasn’t worrisome enough so I’d start worrying about when the rug was going to be pulled out from under me. When was Tom going to leave me like everyone else did.
I had no trouble trusting that God would never leave me, but it took a long time to put my faith and trust in another human being. The luck within my fairytale was having someone like Tom who constantly told me how much he loved me.
As I write this I realize that I do have a fairytale story with beauty, luck, love and a happily ever after ending. It’s all the in-between stuff that puts the meat and bones on our love story.
One of the things that helped me the most over the years was having friends to share my thoughts with. Knowing that others had the same goals, thoughts and concerns made me feel normal. It’s not right to leave people with the impression that everything is perfect. We learn and grow from each other.
My hope is that you will find this a place where you can share your thoughts and questions as well. We all have a valued amount of information stored up inside us. Why not pass the goodness on?
I leave you with a lesson on worry from—Winston Churchill.
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
A reader of my story The Promise asked me what kind of work I did that gave me the ability to forgive my parents. It was a lifetime process that began when I got down on my knees and asked for the grace of forgiveness. I thought that my faith was strong enough that God would take all the pain of my past away. Little did I know at the time that when we pray for something, God isn’t going to fix it for us. He gives us lots of opportunities to practice and learn from it.
In honor of Mother’s Day, I must share with you that it was through the bond of motherhood that my relationship with Mom began to heal. She became a significant part of my life during that time when I had our four children. She loved being with them as much as they loved having her around, and I appreciated her help, too.
Today I choose to remember all the good things about my Mom. One of my fondest memories I have was sitting beside Mom as a child watching her zip together an outfit on the sewing machine. She would ask me to thread the needle for her when it needed it, and she taught me how to sew, too. She also taught me how to bake bread, crochet, as well as many other crafts. I remember how she held my hand as we walked to school for my first day of kindergarten. How her face lite up the moment I walked into the hospital after her knee surgery. The serving of apple crisp she brought into the hospital after each baby was born. The way she laid her head on my shoulder as she sat beside me knowing this was the last time she’d receive communion before passing away.
As mothers, we each do the best we can with what we know how to do. We all have grandiose ideas of the kind of mother we want to be, and then God gives us lots of opportunities to practice how to be that way. We learn from mistakes, but only after we forgive ourselves for making them. I am grateful for the blessings that motherhood has given me. For my mother, my children, my husband, and all we learned together along the way.
People often ask me how you can remember such details from your past.
It is as if the heart stops for a moment while the brain absorbs the shock of the hearts piercing. That memory has nowhere to go. It wanders around in your mind and flashes like a lightning bolt with the blow of thunder that strikes right before the memory comes flooding back, and the tears rain from your eyes.
You don’t forget the things that pierce your heart.
But as a child, we can often distort what was really going on. We only remember the worst of what happened to us. In my therapy sessions, my therapist would have me go back to an event in my life as the adult I am today. I’d sit beside my younger self and observe the situation from an adult point of view. I could see that what was going on didn’t have anything to do with me. There was a lifetime of problems that surround my parents that created the things that happened. I could then take the hand of my inner child and show her that it wasn’t her fault. That it’s alright now, we survived it, and it’s not worth holding onto anymore. It didn’t take away from the fact that I was indeed a victim of my parent’s circumstances, and it didn’t justify their actions, but it helped me to know it wasn’t my fault, and I could let it go now if I wanted to.
I am humbled!
Another 5-star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review
A heartwarming story of resilience though faith and love.The Promise is an inspirational story of faith, hope, and love. Connie really gets into the voice of a 14 year old and although I was fortunate enough not to experience the awful situation she was in, I could remember my self doubts of adolescences. I volunteer as a court appointed advocate for children taken out of their homes. I have been working with a boy who has been in care since he was 12. He is now 18 and has been moved from one facility to another. The pain, sadness and rejection he feels is heartbreaking. Connie expresses this so well. Thank you, Connie, for having the courage to tell your story and making us aware of what these kids experience.
Thank you for your wonderful response. It is a confirmation for me that my story is touching those who need to hear it.
Thank you, Fran Rowley, your 5-star review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Promise is a heartfelt memoir that is both captivating and inspiring. I felt so much emotion as I followed the difficult challenges this author endured. Her strong faith and trust in God is commendable with all she had been through, and I was inspired to work to develop a deeper connection in my own life.
This was an engaging story that kept me captivated, and I highly recommend this book!
Every review helps get my story in the hands of someone who could benefit from what it has to offer. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
So, what’s this website all about?
As I was creating my new author website, I needed to come up with the topics, taglines and categories that come up in my book, The Promise. I was awestruck myself by how many topics it covers and could understand what a friend meant when she said she could relate to some of the things I brought up in my story. I realize now looking at the list that there is probably something for everyone to get out of reading my book. That makes me happy because I wanted to tell my story so that others could find a sense of commonality and hope through each other. We are not alone in this world, and sometimes we need a place where we can share. I’m excited now to be able to provide such a place with this website where you can communicate, vent, cry and encourage each other.
- mental illness
- family dysfunction